BREAKING NEWS
by SWWF INTERNATIONAL REPORTER
Juan Rothchild(Ironically no relation to Ryan)
Puerto Rico
It is with deep saddening news that we at the SWWF inform you of the Assassination of President Douglas Rushmore. He had disappeared for sometime now & thus forcing SWWF RAMPAGE into reruns until we found him. It became official today as we found Senor Rushmore ASSASSINATED. He had many enemies that would be capable of this, but no one thought that one of them would take it this far. The range of suspects include
Cornelius Rushmore
Long lost twin brother who has gone into hiding in Phoenix, AZ Maybe he wanted this to remain silent while he secretly replaced his brother
T.M. Playr
His nephew who may have tired of being abused by his loud mouthed Uncle.
SWWF Champion ShocXwavE
Said to have manipulated Rushmore into giving him the SWWF Title & arranged to have him taken out mafiosa style(Can anyone say Nicky the Fish?)
Commissioner Doc Fairday
Who stands to benefit the most from the President's offing? Certainly the Latinos can't go this long without another President?
Speaking of the Latinos, How about the PELIGROSO LATINOS?
While visiting the Peligroso Latinos looking for a contract extention, President Rushmore had reached an impasse in negotiations with the Latinos for a bigger, more lucrative deal. It had seemed that success had gone to the Commissioner's head. What better way to explain the ousting of Rushmore than to have him ELIMINATED & on FOREIGN SOIL at that?
And what about the previous President El Jefe?
Maybe he wanted his old job back and felt stung by the President's betrayl. It has long been rumored that Rushmore STRONG ARMED Jefe into stepping down from his post.
And what of EASY "E" Eric Lenaburg?
Surely there was a conflict with the CEO & PRESIDENT trying to coexist & run things at the same time.
Or was it someone PREVIOUSLY affiliated with the SWWF?
Revenge perhaps? There is a long list of former Superstars that wanted him gone. Sadly the danger of more ASSASSINATIONS or a TRAITOR in the SWWF midsts has sent some Superstars into hiding & EARLY retirement. The SWWF website will reflect this & have to deal with the many repurcussions & changes that will result out of this. The many chain of events that will unfold will shape the SWWF's future & affect us for years to come.
Either way, the President is gone. And the SWWF reels in a whirlwind mystery straight out of the Hardy Boys mystery, which sadly speaking, President Rushmore's will requests, nay demands that a Lion deliver a copy of the Hardy Boyz book at his wake, so a caption can be read at his funeral. Who Dunnit? That is the question. The SWWF is looking at hiring one of the finest detectives to investigate this & WILL NOT rest until this is solved. In the meantime, the SWWF has had to go into hiatus & restructuring again to make up for the incredible shake up. It is sad news for us as well as all the SWWF fans. But the promise this time is to NOT return unless the SWWF can sustain this time & that is indeed what the SWWF's current plans dictate. To build upon what has gone before, survive for now & COME BACK, thru ADVERSITY, EVEN STRONGER. We thank all of the fans for their constant support as always.
Now, please, a moment of silence for President Douglas Rushmore. Rest Peacefully, Twinkie Eater. You will be missed. We will find your assailant & bring him to justice.